Ever Since… No Day Has Ever Really Been Just A Regular Day

14 years…

Ever since you left us without even an ‘I love you,’ no day has really ever been normal. 😭

I wish you were here living your own life with a family of your own. I wish you were here spoiling your neices to death. I wish you were here causing problems with your little brothers, yet still being the big brother they so desperately wish you were here to be. I wish you were here helping your father navigate this new stage of life as your grandfather faces his cancer head-on. I wish you were here to continue to be the best friend I miss so much. I wish you were making new memories with the friends and family you cherished so much. Above all, I just wish you were living, laughing, crying, screaming, loving, smiling, and just being you without fear or hesitation.

Your life left a stain on so many people’s hearts that has remained years after you’ve been gone. The bracelets we wear, the tattoos that are forever printed on our bodies, the shirts we’ve had made, and other trinkets we hold close to our hearts… these are all our ways to keep a piece of you with us at all times. 💔

Most days, life makes no sense. Other days, I wake up and go about my business as if the world just kept turning and it’s just another day, Regardless, we continue to move forward in order to not get swallowed up by the sadness and the pain that usually lies just beneath the surface. We smile at our triumphs. We try to laugh at our mistakes. We learn from our failures. We celebrate our achievements. We attempt to face each day with whatever digity we can, knowing that you, Tim, wouldn’t want us to do it any other way.

Each day, Facebook reminds you what memories you had from the previous years on that exact day. For the last 14 years, I have dreaded the memories that come up on this day. Not necessarily because they are all sad ones, but more so because they just show another year without you. I know to some, they may say this is obvious and if he’s been gone for the last 14 years, then he’s not in any of other memories from all the other days that pop up from this slightly addictive social media app. But it was on this day (06/14/2009) 14 years ago, that we sat in a hospital room in another state, holding your lifeless hand, saying our good-byes and kissing your cheek for the last time with tears streaming from our eyes endlessly. This day… this fucking day… will never be anything more than the day our lives changed forever and I lost my best friend, my son, my Timothy.

I love you, Sweetheart. I miss you every day, every hour, every minute. I wish you could just come home. ❤️

Live each day like it could be your last.

Make your mark on this world and always strive to touch the sun.

Stay close to people who feel like sunshine.

Never, ever leave home without saying ‘I love you’ to the people you love most.

Stop waiting for the perfect moment; instead, make every moment perfect for you.

Find that one place that makes you truly happy and alive. 😊