Some women have dreams of one day becoming a mother. And I was one of those women. When I was young, I always thought of what kind of mother I would be. I would watch family comedies and think that they were being overly dramatic when they showed the mothers at their wit’s end and about to break with their children either running wild or crying in the middle of some department store or grocery store.
Now that I am a mother, I can safely say that I was very wrong in believing this… very, very wrong.
Motherhood – while it is a beautiful choice we choose in life, it definitely has its downsides and its downward spirals that no one can really prepare us for when we’re pregnant and anxious for this new little person to arrive and finally be placed in our arms. While a manual would definitely be useful in raising children, not every child is the same. And if you’re like most parents who learning as they go, then how much fun would it be if you had to follow a rule book.
I mean I’ve been that mother standing in the middle of a department store, wondering, rather hoping that me and my children are invisible to everyone else, as my little monsters, I mean children, run around me, screaming like wild monkeys. Or the times I’ve had to football carry my youngest son out of a store because he seemed to grown six other arms and wouldn’t stop touching everything within his reach and on those particular days had an obsession with anything fragile, glass, breakable or just sweep right off a shelf for fun with his little pudgy arm. Or even when I give in and buy the tenth trillion truck or superhero toy just to get my out-of-control child to stop screaming, crying or whining just because I want to finish our weekly trek to the grocery store without any major injuries or catastrophes. Or the classic attempt to have some semblance of a nice dinner out and one of my children releases some kind of bodily fluid at the table that really shouldn’t be seen by anyone else other than you and/or your spouse whether it be snot, pee or puke. And then you’re left apologizing profusely to the waitress, rushing you and your children out the door and marking that place off the list of places you’ll never ever go again.
Or the days when I probably resemble a mad woman with my hair hanging in my face, sweat dripping down the sides of my face, desperation most likely pouring out of my eyeballs, as my children are pulling another one of their rapid fire barrage of:
“Mommy, can I get a toy?”
“Mommy, Andrew, won’t give me his toy.”
“Mommy, I have to go potty. I have to POOP!” (Usually said loud enough for every other customer in the store to hear)
“Mommy, I’m hungry. Can we go somewhere with noodles?”
“Mommy, Nicholas, just took my toy away from me.”
“Mommy, Andrew, just punched me.”
And sometimes I just want to curl up at the bottom of the cart and take a nap or choke back the urge to go postal on the two doe-eyed little boys who have my hearts in their hands every moment of the day and night.
Ah, motherhood… of course, the perks outweigh the downsides though. There’s the cuddles, the kisses, the ‘I love you’ in little voices, the hugs and the little things they say to make me think, ‘Ok, well, maybe I’m not the craziest mom in the world then.’
I do love my children. Man, but on a daily basis, I feel like a ringmaster, a zookeeper and a janitor among the other jobs that any working mother has to take on because that’s just the facts of life.
But it’s those doe eyes and those toothy grins that get me every single time. No matter how maniacal I feel and when I’m just about to explode, one of them or even both of them will go on a group attack and do something overly adorable and then I’m toast. And then that postal part of me is put back in the closet and the happy mommy comes out again. Believe me, I like happy mommy much more than crazy, insane mommy because I know full well that she’s much nicer to be around and I also know I wouldn’t trust I wouldn’t trust her cookies. Nope, nope, nope.
Like I said, ah, motherhood… even with the crazy times, the advantages definitely outweigh disadvantages.