For Good. For Real.

I have watched the Broadway musical, Wicked, on the stage 3-4 times, listened to the soundtrack countless times, and recently saw the second part of the movie in theaters. And a line from Wicked’s “For Good” imprinted on me immediately upon hearing it all those years ago: “Because I knew you, I have been changed for good.” 

It’s not necessarily “for the better” or “for the worse,” but simply “for good”—permanently changed, marked and rewritten in invisible ink by those who pass through my  life. 

At 48, I can confidently say that everyone who has entered my life—whether for minutes, months, or decades—has left their mark on my heart. Some came as blessings; others as lessons; and some as both. In any case, they all, in some way, changed me.

There were people I thought would be permanent who vanished without warning. And there were people I never expected who quietly became anchors. Some relationships shattered me, and others stitched me back together without ever letting on.

And then there’s now.

This recent chapter of my life has surprised me in ways I didn’t expect. After so much loss, rebuilding, and moments of feeling overlooked or unchosen, the people in my life now continue to support me in ways that bring tears to my eyes. They reach out when I go silent. They sit with me through difficult times. They celebrate small wins that once seemed invisible. They remind me—sometimes without even realizing it—that I don’t have to earn my place in their lives.

They love me for me.
Not the polished version.
Not the productive version.
Not the “I’ve got it all together” version.
Just… me.

And that kind of love and support changes you.

Another lyric from “For Good” mentions that people come in and out of our lives for a reason. I’ve always believed that, even when it hurt, especially when it hurt. Because sometimes the purpose isn’t to stay. Sometimes the purpose is simply to wake something up inside you. Or soften you. Or strengthen you. Or teach you how to leave. Or teach you how to stay.

Some people have taught me how deeply I can love.
Some have taught me how resilient I am.
Some have taught me what I will never again accept.
All of them have taught me something about who I am becoming.

At this point in my life, I no longer measure the success of a relationship by how long it lasts. I measure it by how honestly it shaped me. Whether I’m kinder. Braver. Softer. Stronger. More myself because of it.

And here’s the truth I didn’t fully understand when I was younger, but with age, it has become crystal clear: the people who love you during your process of becoming—not just in your highlight moments—are the ones who change you the most. They’re the ones who see you when you are stripped of certainty and still choose to sit beside you.

I used to think being “changed for good” meant something big and dramatic. Now I know it’s quieter than that. It’s in the way I speak to myself—the boundaries I hold. The way I show up for others is because of how they showed up for me. It’s in the courage I didn’t always have before.

So to the people who have stayed.
To the people who have left.
To the people who surprised me.
To the people who are loving me through this season with no conditions attached—

You have all changed me. For real. For always.
For good.

And I carry every mark of that with deep gratitude.

Even the painful ones.
Maybe especially the painful ones.

Because somehow, against all odds, they’ve made me exactly who I am, still becoming.