Somewhere Between Here and There (Revisited)

Initially Published in December 2015. Revised November 2023

When I originally wrote this post eight years ago, many things seem trivial and a bit unimportant compared to the multiple life events that have occurred since when it comes to the things I have since experienced, endured and even barely survived.

With all of this in mind, I’m revisiting “Somewhere Between Here and There” from 2015 because I still believe it is a place where so many things are possible. Though now, I think it’s a place where your teenagers listen to your advice, where grief is no longer an uninvited guest at the dinner table, where the credit card bills don’t keep you up at night, where those vacation plans you’ve wanted to make for so long seem within reach now, and where that person within yourself that you’ve missed for so long seems within touching distance every time you look in the mirror.

As the holiday season begins, this year brings an extra tinge of sadness and the unknown as we take small steps toward another new kind of normal in our family. With this, it’s even harder to believe that such a mythical place could exist between the here and there. At least for me, the chaos of being a full-time working mom, chauffeuring my kids around, existing commitments, trying to shop for gifts, baking my annual holiday cookies, it’s hard to find the time, let alone believe in this place.

It’s easy to get overwhelmed with things that don’t matter, especially when people tell you to slow down and take your time; life only happens once. Sometimes, you feel like you’re only running from moment to moment. What is the place between here and there? Is it simply a concept? A belief? A place where our mind wanders when we just need a break? Is it something only a privileged few can journey and stay? Or is it earned?

For me, the holidays usually mean at least one person in our house is sick in the house at some point or another, the usual seasonal stress, trying to finish everything at the last second, all mixed with my already chaotic life. No matter what though, I always strive to find a way to laugh, relax, watch an overload of Hallmark Christmas movies, and do everything in my power to remember that it’s not about the presents wrapped under the tree instead it’s about the people gathered around it. Maybe this could be my place between the here and there right now. With all the sorrow and loss I have endured throughout my life, I must find where I feel at peace, joy and happiness to keep moving forward. 

For everyone else, there is a somewhere between here and there… it’s real. I can feel it down to my toes. Sometimes, you may only get a glimpse of it; other times you can even bask in the sun for a little while in that place.

It’s a beautiful place where… You are enough. Your friends are friends without fear of backstabbing and petty behavior. Life is more simple than chaotic. Decisions are easier to understand than painstakingly difficult to make the older you get. The perfect job is the right balance between insanely busy, incredible coworkers and the opportunity to grow professionally and personally. Dreams seem within reach even when everything is crashing down around you.

Our lives are created through a series of moments, help define who we are as people. While no single moment is meant to define us as a whole, the sum of our parts helps us choose the paths we travel and the course of our next action. Whether it is the loss of a longtime friendship or accepting a new higher paying job, it is about our strength of character and heart that helps guide us to the next road we must take or even how the next page of our life should be completed.

Moments don’t always have to be the best to help shape who we are or become. In anyone’s life, there will be pain, sorrow, and even death. But if you’re living your life right, there will also be love, friendship, laughter, compassion, happiness, and triumph.

Somewhere between here and there may also be the place where our “What ifs?” live along with our “Wonder what would’ve happened” and “Maybe I should’ve done that instead.” It’s a place where some of us go just for a moment to justify the means to the end or question every decision we make only to believe every turn has been the wrong one. We must not dwell on the ‘What ifs’ or the ‘Could’ve Been’ since we are meant to keep moving forward not backward. Life has a funny way of helping us heal since it keeps going. The sun rises, and then it sets every day. We are lucky to have another day. It is our prerogative as to what we do with this gift – live life to the fullest or hide in the shadows scared at every turn. 

No matter what direction life has taken us to get to where we are right now, it is up to us to take that first step toward a well-lived life. It’s never too late for a change. Goals and dreams do not come with expiration dates unless we start believing they are unachievable. We put out the flame of our ambition and determination with self-doubt and self-sabotage. Whether the dream is to write a book, lose yourself on a whirlwind adventure through Europe, live on the beach in Hawaii, or simply find a better way to make yourself happy, then take life by the horns and make the small changes to get to the monumental ones may seem much more do-able to any Average Joe or Jane if you just start small.

As for that somewhere between here and there where life seems all too perfect in all ways, I know it exists. Life is about making the wrong choices every now and then to figure out the right ones. Achieve what others believe you are not competent enough to reach. 

Keep looking for your place between here and there. It’s there, I know it!